![]() ![]() Whereas for the bride you got the sense the sister overemphasized her nerdy awkwardness in a darkly comedic sort of way, the bride’s sister laid into her new brother-in-law with all the grace of a dumpster fire. When she moved on to the groom, the speech-if you can believe it-got worse. ![]() In an effort to draw a laugh, she told thoroughly embarrassing, even cringeworthy stories of her sister’s “awkward days.” She described her sister’s graduation from a bespectacled, acne-prone loner to the new-and-improved “selfish one in the family-haha.” Throughout this train wreck of a bridesmaid speech my wife and I covered our faces and chugged our wine, but there was little we could do to escape the awkwardness of the moment. Instead, my wife and I sat awestruck as she spent the next 25.TWO-FIVE.minutes reading from her iPhone the reasons why she never thought she was the bride’s favorite sister, let alone the one who would be asked to speak at her reception. All she really had to do was give some semblance of a heartfelt speech, maybe provide an anecdote or two, tell the bride she looked wonderful, and call it a day. I wish I could tell you that she nailed it. With that, the hall was ready for the final speaker-the bride’s sister-to pave the way for the festivities to come. The coup de grâce came in the form of a touching toast, bringing it home with a levity and sweetness that nearly brought the room to tears. He followed that up with a brief recap of how he first met his new sister-in-law, a touching tale of her intelligence and wit, punctuated by a joke about how she could throw back shots like the best of them (that got a particularly loud applause from the cousins in the back). His speech was a carefully manicured speech, a smattering of cute vignettes growing up alongside his shy but able brother. ![]() Soon, the emcee corralled the last of the stragglers, and two lucky guests were given the honors to speak.įirst, the groom’s brother-a ragazzo with an endearing, devilish charm and the kind of unintended humor that didn’t result in raucous laughter, but rather put a heartfelt smile on each guest’s face. The wine had begun to flow and the din of longtime friends and close family sent an electric buzz throughout the room. Both bride and groom beamed and their vows were made even sweeter with the heartfelt words of their officiant.Īs the guests filed into a long hall adjacent to the brick patio, they quickly took their seats. A handmade arbor adorned with seasonal flowers served as the ceremony’s centerpiece that is, until the bride walked out of course. The ceremony, it turned out, was beautiful-the rolling hillsides offered the perfect backdrop of olive groves, and the smell of freshly cut grass from the well-manicured lawns surrounding the villa filled the air. But, in a last-minute caution-to-the-wind swipe of the Amex, my wife and I figured we could at least make a vacation out of it-see some sites, eat pasta and cannolis, and, worst case scenario, we’d content ourselves with more than a few topped-off glasses of Chianti at the reception. In fact, we initially planned on not going to the destination wedding at all considering the social desert we might’ve found ourselves in, to say nothing of the expense just to get there. Other than the bride and groom, we didn’t know anybody else at the wedding. We found two white, well-cushioned seats at the end of a row, and patiently waited for the ceremony to begin. ![]() We stepped out of the Uber, said a quick “ Grazie” to the driver, and followed the signs to the exterior patio. A lush green ivy had overgrown much of the white stucco exterior walls of the villa in an elegant, not creepy haunted mansion sort of way. A little less than half an hour before the ceremony began, my wife and I arrived at an oversized villa in the Italian countryside two hours outside of Rome. ![]()
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